The Great Purge

Friday, July 31, 2015

My last day at work is today and it feels strange. I vacillate from feeling excited for my new adventures and being anxious that I don't have a job or schedule! I'm usually a planner- an organized machine. Going rogue and wandering aimless for a few months is a little scary for me. But, I'm trying to embrace the experience.

One thing I'm doing my first week of vacation is to organize everything I own. I call this 'The Great Purge'. I have too much junk that I've collected over the years and it's time to downsize. I need to sublease my city apartment anyway (San Francisco rent is insane and I can't waste the money on a place I won't be living in for a few months). So, I'm starting my vacation with cleaning and organizing everything! What fun!

I've been inspired by this book I read a few weeks ago called, "The life-changing magic of tidying up". It sounds like a paradise for anyone with OCD and it is! This book is crazy, genius, bizarre, and wonderful. The author includes tidbits of wisdom like........

"In essence, tidying ought to be the act of restoring balance among people, their possessions, and the house they live in."

"One theme underlying my method of tidying is transforming the home into a sacred space, a power spot filled with pure energy."

"Put your house in order and discover what you really want to do."

She basically says that if you have to buy storage and organization bins, then you're doing it wrong. Once you put something in storage, you'll never use it again. Get rid of anything that doesn't bring you joy. That's the ultimate test. Joy.

I started with one of the most difficult categories for boxes of music. I have heavy boxes of sheet music that I've carried around with me for years. Since I studied music performance (twice) in college, I'm very attached to my music! I have memories of playing the Mozart G Major Flute Concerto at a competition. I still see the indecipherable scribblings of my favorite flute teacher in the margin. A symbol that looks like a skiwampus crescendo....a bunch of circles in the shape of a bullseye.....1,2,3 go!

This music has crazy emotional connections for me, but I haven't played a majority of it in years. And I will probably never play the Chant de Linos flute concerto by Andre Jolivet. Or the piccolo concerto by Lowell Liebermann. Or learn circular breathing from a book by Robert Dick. They have youtube videos for that now.

Time to say goodbye to my once-beloved music (or anything else in my life) that no longer brings me joy. I'll keep my favorite pieces, of course, but that'll be limited to a small box. Goodbye, my dear, tattered, well-loved music. Time to move on.

The Blog is Back! (and I quit my job)

Friday, July 10, 2015

I quit my job.

My last day at work will be end of this month. I didn't get another job yet. I'm taking 6 months off to camp, travel, read (a lot), write, and visit my family. I guess you could call this my midlife crisis or my version of 'Eat, Pray, Love'. But this version will be more like 'Camp, Travel, Read'. I just need to push the reset button on my life. It's not that anything is horribly wrong. I have a significant amount of money saved, a good and mostly satisfying career, friends, family, and good health. But I've also been through some traumatic experiences that have slowly broken me down. Lost loves, work drama, crushed expectations, watching my biggest dream for my life slowly and painfully die. You know, the usual.

I made a short hiking/camping trip to Yosemite a few weeks ago and have been feeling the pull of it ever since. There is something peaceful and calming about walking amongst the trees, streams, and mountains. It's comforting to feel a connection to something that has been here a lot longer than I have and that will last far beyond when I am gone. I definitely loose sight of that in my everyday city life.

'When we contemplate the whole globe as one great dewdrop, striped and dotted with continents and islands, flying through space with other stars all singing and shining together as one, the whole universe appears as an infinite storm of beauty.'
-John Muir

So far, my plan for my 6 month wanderings will be to camp for a few weeks, then spend some time with my parents in Arizona, and then travel in Europe for a month (Southern France, Italy, Amsterdam, Greece). But first, Yosemite.....

'The mountains are calling and I must go.'
-John Muir

The 'F' Word

Sunday, April 6, 2014

I have something to confess.....

I'm a feminist.

For some reason I don't understand, feminism has gotten a bad rap (especially in the Mormon church). But when I say feminism, I just mean I believe in gender equality. Simple. Not controversial- right?


I'm continually surprised that this is a controversial topic. That people seem intent on focusing on ways in which we are different, rather than on how we can treat all people with equal respect, value, and consideration for their opinions.

If there's anyone reading this post that doesn't know me, there's a little bit of background that you'll need at this point. I'm a very religious person and am a life-long member of the Mormon church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints). I go to church every Sunday and for the most part, live my religion. If I refer to 'the church' in this post, I'm referring to the Mormon church. I'm also single, 30-something, never been married.

There are growing feminist movements in the church, one of which is Ordain Women. I have mixed thoughts/feelings about this movement, but I think it's worth examining something that makes me a bit uncomfortable. In this post, I'll also be referring to this article, which details the response of the church to the Ordain Women request to attend the priesthood session of general conference.

First of all, I am uncomfortable with an aspect of the Ordain Women movement.... Maybe because I’m culturally conditioned to feel that priesthood is just for men. Or, maybe because I do think it’s a matter of revelation- we can ask for the priesthood but ultimately, it’s up to God. It’s His priesthood. Also, in some ways, I feel that women already have godly power. We get a glimmer of that in the temple and I think in heaven, women will more fully be able to exercise that power. (This is a topic for another post).


There's another aspect of this movement (and other Mormon feminist movements) that resonates with me. I do want to see more gender equality in the church. I would like to see women leaders speak in conference more often, women seen and respected for being gospel scholars, and women valued for their opinions and insight.

Now on to the response from the church's PR department to the Ordain Women request to attend conference: there is something about this response that bothers me greatly. The PR person seems to indicate that one of the reasons this issue isn’t being considered is because the vast majority of women don’t want it. But if the vast majority of women in the church did want the priesthood, does that mean it would be considered more seriously? It just really bothers me when members of the church say declarative statements like, ‘women aren’t meant to have the priesthood and never will’…. For one, no one can say women will never have the priesthood. No one. If it really is up to God, He can make a declaration at any time and give women the priesthood.

Also, as far as the bigger issue here- I really see this movement as women who want to be treated as equals in this church. I get that. That message resonates with me. As a single woman, I feel especially vulnerable to being treated as a second-class citizen. I don’t have a spouse to back me up if needed. It’s just me- a single woman. The lowest-valued member of the church. I know single men get a lot of condemnation for not being married, but they (for the most part) are still considered highly datable and desirable. For me, what is my value in the church if I'm not a mother or a wife? I’m someone that needs charity- a burden on the society of the church. That’s all bullshit of course, but it’s how I feel.

Now- I'm still Mormon and intend to stay that way. No religion is perfect because people aren't perfect. It doesn't make me question my faith when I see people being judgmental or lacking compassion. I think that's an aspect of human nature. I still love my religion and find great beauty and hope in the gospel of Christ.

Ok- back to priesthood. I have a wish: I wish people would listen to these women's concerns with a compassionate ear. I wish these women would be invited to SLC to help figure out ways we can help women feel equally valued in the church. I wish people would show compassion and help silence the angry backlash that these women’s movements are getting. An open, compassionate dialogue. That’s what I wish.

The strangest blog you'll ever read......

Monday, March 17, 2014

I haven't blogged in a long time and don't know if I have any more followers, but I'm going to make (yet another) change. I'm not going to be blogging about fashion (much) anymore. I'm going to convert this back to more of a personal blog. I just have a lot of things I've been pondering and feel they deserve my time a little more than shoes and handbags (although fashion can be truly fabulous). So- be warned- deep thoughts coming soon!


Unique dress

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

This is a BCBG dress from their runway collection about 2 years ago. I love the uniqueness of the cut. It looks different from every angle because of the diagonal panels. BCBG always has unique looks. Some of them, I hate. But, when they get it right- it's really right. I'm enjoying their current collection this season as well.

Dress: BCBG, runway collection from 2 years ago
Shoes: Coach (a few years ago)


Sunday, December 23, 2012

I love a feminine, classy outfit. I found this bow blouse at JCrew. I couldn't resist pairing it with bow pearl earrings and a Kate Spade handbag (with a bow). Since the blouse is full, I matched it with this red pencil skirt from Ann Taylor. It is Christmas time after all. Merry Christmas everyone!


Blouse: JCrew Bow neck top in bow print
Skirt: Ann Taylor, purchased a year ago
Earrings: Kate Spade, here's a similar pair
Handbag: Kate Spade, purchased a few years ago
Bracelet: Ann Taylor, purchased a few years ago
Shoes: Christian Louboutin Simple Pump

Mistletoe and holiday parties

Monday, December 17, 2012

I love this time of year- with all the holiday spirit, Christmas parties, delicious food, beautiful music, and great reasons to dress up. I got this tulle skirt from Anthropologie and wore it to a Christmas party this weekend. They had a photo booth at the party, so we took some great shots. :) Merry Christmas everyone!

So many little time.......

Skirt: Anthropologie Karinska Tulle Skirt in Ivory
Top: Asos Blouse with diagonal pleats, shown in this post
Shoes: Kate Spade Krysta
Belt: Tarnish skinny sparkle bow belt
Earrings: Kate Spade skinny mini bow drop earrings

Floral Dress

Friday, December 7, 2012

I know it's not very wintery, but I love this floral dress from JCrew. It's actually a blouse and skirt (in the same pattern- hothouse floral). It's a light chiffon print and so beautiful. Hey, I live in sunny California, so I get to wear these kinds of things in the winter :)

Dress: JCrew Collection Skirt in Hothouse Floral. I also bought the blouse in the same pattern.
Shoes: Christian Louboutin Simple Pump 100 (These shoes were one of my birthday presents to myself :)

Kimono style dress

Friday, November 30, 2012

It seems rare that I find a dress I can wear without any modifications. This is a great one from Anthropologie. It has a bit of a kimono flare- which I love. It's a relaxed fit, but with a great belt to accentuate the waist. And, the peacock feathers in the print are fantastic. Love it.

Dress: Anthropologie Plumes Kimono Midi Dress
Shoes: Coach, purchased a few years ago
Necklace: Ann Taylor, purchased a few years ago

Christmas Creche Exhibit

Monday, November 26, 2012

I love the holiday season. Every year, my church puts on this Christmas Creche Exhibit. They display nativities from all over the world. There are musical performances throughout the day and they try to make it kid-friendly (with puppet shows, etc.). I'm playing in a bell choir this year, which will be an adventure. :) If you're in the bay area the first weekend of December, come check it out.

Go to this website for more details.

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